I’m actually only 19.
Shhhh… Dump tell no mandy
z1c:
being 20+ on tumblr
so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat
Yes those are dolphins and shells.
But wait until you open the fucking thing
Oh yes
my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT
I am so fucking done
at least you can pee in the middle of the night without turning on the bathroom light
Yo I’d kill for a light up toilet seat
A new My Little Pony movie is coming out in theaters! This will not end well.
Why ‘My Little Pony’ Is About to Get Even Creepier
Hasbro recently announced a My Little Pony spinoff movie, titled My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, which will hit theaters next month. In Equestria Girls, all of the ponies are transported to another universe where they transform into teenage girls to face the trials of high school life, because without question that’s what every fan of a magical universe of talking ponies wanted this movie to be.
…
Picture the three key groups of MLP fans: little girls, “bronies” (i.e., adult male aficionados of the show), and furries. Now, picture all of those people intermixing in the same dark movie theater. It’s tantamount to tossing kids into a haunted house full of loud, self-important 20-somethings and terrifying sexual fetishists.
10 to 1 odds someone is arrested for masturbating during a screening
Yo how have I not seen a gif of the “Anderson Cooper 360” from SNL last night? That shit was hilarious
Dam I was scrolling and the first thing that went through my mind when I saw this photo was “fierce”
The Telephone Line
Elaine gets a call from a man who claims to have gotten her number from a mutual friend. Despite having reservations about going on a blind date under such shady circumstances, the man sounds so charming that she decides to take her chances. When she arrives at the restaurant, however, the maître d’ informs her that her date has called to cancel. Disappointed, she returns home, finding an apologetic message on her answering machine from the man. She returns his call, and after a conversation even more charming and thrilling than their first, he asks her to a movie the following night. She agrees with only mild reluctance.
At the theater the next night, the man is nowhere to be found. Elaine watches the movie alone and returns home to find another message on her machine. Instead of listening to it, she calls their supposed mutual friend and asks her about the guy. The friend claims to never have heard of him, and that nobody she knows has ever asked for Elaine’s number.
Whenever Kramer looks out the window, he sees an old woman dressed all in black with a black veil looking back up at him from different places below. He’s so terrified by her that he’s afraid to leave the apartment building.
A half-second delay in the sound system at a comedy club leaves Jerry unable to say more than two or three words at a time before being rendered speechless by the Delayed Auditory Feedback effect. The audience finds his confusion and growing frustration far funnier than any of the jokes he would have told.
Over the next two weeks, Elaine receives seemingly endless calls from her would-be suitor, apologizing for having to cancel on their date the previous night and asking her out on another that night. She tries to decline, but he doesn’t seem to hear her, and hangs up without letting her get a word in edgewise.
George suspects that his coworkers have been going into his office without his permission when he’s not around, and has a high-security lock installed on the door. He immediately loses the key, and the locksmith refuses to make him a new one without the registration card that was included with the lock, which he had thrown carelessly away. After digging fruitlessly through the dumpster, he spends the next few weeks meandering around the building trying to hide the fact that he’s unable to get into his office.
When the food in Jerry’s kitchen runs out, Kramer orders lunch from a nearby Chinese restaurant, but when he answers the door, the woman in black is standing on the other side, holding his delivery. He slams the door and stares at her through the peephole, but she doesn’t leave, despite his pleas. Eventually, he works up his courage and opens the door to ask her who she is. She lifts her veil to reveal his own face beneath.
Frustrated and desperate, Elaine convinces a phone repairman to help her track down the man who keeps calling her. After digging around in records and logs at the phone company, the two drive out to the location listed as the origin of the calls. There they find a flock of birds pecking furiously at the phone line on an otherwise barren road in Tennessee. As Elaine steps out of the truck, the birds spot her and fly away, cackling uncontrollably.
Kramer enjoys a lovely lunch with his quirky, socially-inept grandmother.
